Encouragement for a Moms heart

I wanted to share a neat story with you.  It had been the morning of my meeting with the school to address "issues" and work on Turbos 504 and I was a nervous wreck.  For some reason the very thinking of these meetings and having little to no say in what's best for my child can reduce me to a puddle of tears in a moment.  I decided to get a cup of coffee from Starbucks before heading to the meeting.  I do get an occasional Starbucks and am very familiar with the process.  Once reaching the window they confirm your order, give you your total, take payment and close the window to go get your coffee.  Not that they are unpleasant at all but their not particularly chatty.  That day was different.  The lady noticed I was dressed up and asked if I was headed to work.  I shared no, I was headed to a meeting at my sons school and had just decided to grab a cup of coffee and try to relax a little.  The sweet woman at Starbucks (I do wish I knew who she was!) leaned out and started asking me questions and showed real concern even though I kept my answers pretty vague and brief.   She shared a personal story of a time when she let the school decide how things should happen with her child and how she deeply regretted not fighting for what she knew was best.   She told me to be strong and fight for my son because no one else will.  God showed up that day for me in this dear woman at the Coffee Shop.  How did she know to ask were I was headed and how is it that she had a personal story that she could relate to what I was dealing with??  I believe God used her that day to encourage my heart . 

I share this story just as much for my own heart as I do for yours.  If you have a child with ADHD then you have likely at some time or another been discouraged and even come up against a lot of misunderstanding of your child.  It's hard and it hurts.  But do not lose hope, continue to seek God, study his word and look for him because he will reveal himself to you.  You are not alone in this!

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

Facebook kept asking me to update my profile with my "job".  Today I finally got tired of seeing that prompt and decided to enter my job, Homeschool Mom.   I'm still not sure how everyone saw that I added that because it never appeared in my news feed but the comments started rolling in!  It actually felt liberating to have it out there to not only those that are close to me but acquaintances..... and well all of "facebook world".

Be encouraged mamas while you know your kids VERY well, the Author of Life our Awesome God knows every teeny tiny detail about our children and about US.  Seek his wisdom and take respite in his word.  For even on the hardest days he is with you and you are not alone!

Blessings,

Melissa

The challenges of ADHD

It's been a tough couple of weeks here......oh, how do I begin...  a little history for you for now and more to come in follow up posts....

Turbo(10) was diagnosed with ADHD about three years ago.  His quality of life was dramatically effected by the challenges that ADHD presented.  We are not particularly against medication but are open to alternative methods of treatment as well.  We did try several common medications.  I recall one particular medication made him cry, for no reason and for extended periods he just cried.  It was horrible for us to watch but mostly for him to experience a feeling of his emotions being completely out of his control.  After trying three medications all with side effects that either took away his joy or made him a very flat temperament we gave up on medications.  We decided that we would work with his school (at that time he was in the public school) and that if appropriate accommodations were in place we could create a healthy environment and experience for him.  Sadly it did not work out that way.  While it brought us to this great place of homeschooling (which I LOVE)  I say sadly because I am deeply saddened by the school system and how they handle children with this medical diagnosis of ADHD.  I was approached several times in a backhanded way and medication was encouraged.  The school had seen  him for a brief period on medication and they liked it.  It made teaching him easier and it made their job easier.  Which I get, I really do.  But what we got at the end of the day was a lifeless boy with no energy or desire to do anything.  If we took a car ride after school he would instantly fall asleep and he consistently had dark circles under his eyes.  That is SO the opposite of my little guy!  I had explained to the school the side effects of his medication and that we couldn't keep him on it.  But ya know what, they didn't really care.  They were not seeing any negative side effects during school hours and so they couldn't understand why I was taking him off the medication. 
I dreaded going to the "meetings".  I had wanted him evaluated for an LD since I sincerely believe he has some barriers to his learning.  The school declined my request stating his ADHD is what was inhibiting him academically.  So I pushed for an IEP and tried to set up accommodations.  I was denied an IEP but given a 504 instead.  I don't know any others experience with the two types of accommodations but I had two other children on IEP's and things went easily with their plan.  It was clear and the schools executed it.  I was afraid to have a 504 since it was different.  My fears came true.  While we had a clear set of accommodations in place there were always ways the school found to get around them.  For example one rule was that they could not take away his gym time.  I expressed they could use any other reasonable method of discipline including staying after school but under no circumstances could his gym time be removed.  As it was the kids only got 15  minutes of recess.  Time after time his recess was taken away for different reasons that they felt didn't apply to his 504.  After talking to the teacher a couple of times and talking to the principle twice and still having them take away his recess WE WERE DONE.  So done with the school system that was failing us, failing my son.  Not only were we done but my son was done.  He had begun having anxiety, he was falling further behind and many days he went to school in tears.  The blessing in all this turmoil was that it led us to homeschooling.  I often wonder why did we have to go through ALL that to get here but I take comfort in knowing this:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Our journey is really just beginning as we now try to figure out how to best give Turbo the tools he needs to be the best he can be.  I know were in for a long and bumpy ride.  I am grateful to friends who understand, parents who don't understand but don't complain about our choice to homeschool, to the web for being an amazing resource for both research and learning and to My Heavenly Father for continuing to carry me on this journey even when I don't feel like I can take the next step.

Blessings,
Melissa

Disclaimer:  this is my true story of our experience.  I am hopeful that many good schools exist as well as many amazing teachers.  Our story isn't a reflection of what all families with kids diagnosed with ADHD go through in the Public School System.  It is simply our story.